Psychotherapy, Psychotherapist & Counsellor in Aberdeen

How Mentally Strong People Find Inner Peace

Source: Article in Psychology Today from Amy Morin, 2018

Mental strength and inner peace go hand in hand. Mentally strong people are confident that they can handle whatever life throws their way. That’s not to say they don’t feel pain or that they don’t get sad — they experience their emotions on a deep level. But they don’t waste energy wishing things were different or trying to change other people. They stay focused on managing their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

They also prioritise self-improvement because they know there’s always room for improvement. And they give up these ten things that could destroy their inner peace.

1. Engaging with toxic people

The people you surround yourself with affect how you think, feel, and behave. Engaging with people who lie, gossip, bully or cheat takes a toll on your well-being.

Mentally strong people don’t waste their energy trying to change toxic people. They establish healthy emotional and physical boundaries.

2. Excessive self-blame

Thinking everything is 100 per cent your fault — whether it’s a failed relationship or an accident — will affect how you see yourself and the world around you. You can’t always prevent bad things from happening.

Mentally strong people take appropriate accountability. They recognize that they’re responsible for their choices, but they also acknowledge factors beyond their control, like the state of the economy, the weather, and other people’s choices.

3. Chasing happiness

Thinking you need to be happy all the time will backfire. Momentary pleasure is much different from long-term satisfaction.

Mentally strong people are willing to put in the hard work it takes to gain contentment. They refuse to give in to instant gratification or temporary indulgences. They look for ways to build a brighter future by creating long-term goals.

4. Staying comfortable

It may seem like staying inside your comfort zone is the key to feeling good. But avoiding discomfort always backfires in the end.

Mentally strong people face their fears, venture into unknown areas, and test their limits. They know that being uncomfortable is tolerable and that allowing themselves to experience discomfort is the key to living a better life.

5. The victim mentality

Thinking the world and the people in it are out to get you will prevent you from being your best. If you blame all your problems on external circumstances, you’ll never take responsibility for your life.

Mentally strong people acknowledge their choices, even in tragic circumstances. They focus on the things they can control and refuse to waste their time hosting pity parties.

6. Trying to impress people

You could waste much of your life trying to make people like you. Depending on admiration from others, however, gives others power over you.

Mentally strong people are comfortable in their skin. They don’t waste time worrying about whether others approve of their choices. Instead, they focus on living according to their values.

7. The pursuit of perfection

Striving for excellence is healthy. But insisting on perfection is an uphill battle. You’ll never feel good enough if you set the bar impossibly high.

Mentally strong people accept that they’re going to fail and make mistakes. They can acknowledge their flaws and weaknesses.

8. Grudges

You may think that holding onto a grudge somehow punishes someone else. But in reality, clinging to anger and hatred only reduces your life.

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Mentally strong people let go of grudges to focus their energy on more worthwhile causes. However, that doesn’t mean they allow themselves to be abused by people. It just means they don’t allow pent-up resentment to overtake their lives.

9. The quest for material things

No matter how much money you make, a bigger house, a nicer car, or more expensive clothing won’t give you peace of mind. Expecting material possessions to satisfy your needs will leave you sorely disappointed.

Mentally strong people aren’t necessarily minimalists, however. They can enjoy nice things. But they don’t expect their material possessions to give them joy and contentment.

10. Complete self-reliance

Thinking you can do everything alone is about acting tough — not being strong. There will be times when asking for help is important.

Mentally strong people aren’t afraid to admit when they need help. Whether they rely on a higher power, ask for professional help, or lean on a friend during a time of need, they gain strength from others. Knowing they don’t have to have all the answers gives them a renewed sense of inner peace. 

How to Build Mental Muscle

Inner peace comes from knowing your beliefs and being willing to act according to them. It takes mental muscle to do that.

Fortunately, everyone has the ability to practice mental strength exercises every day. The more mental muscle you build, the easier it is to find true contentment in life.